


objectionable

by marcceh



Category: Sherlock (TV)
Genre: F/M, Gen, Other, teeny warning for um. kidnapping of a pope
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-22
Updated: 2019-11-22
Packaged: 2021-03-02 21:00:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 828
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21516949
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/marcceh/pseuds/marcceh
Summary: If there was ever a wedding to object to, it might just be this one.
Relationships: Eurus Holmes/Jim Moriarty
Comments: 5
Kudos: 29





	objectionable

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Johnlockedinwarstan](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Johnlockedinwarstan/gifts).

Eurus stood beside her groom, decked out in Westwood (he in Prada - she insisted), and practically preened.

She had every right. It was her wedding day.

So there she stood, at the altar, before the Pope (not that she had any religious leanings per se, but her soon-to-be-wedded had grown up Irish Catholic and she thought it would be a nice gesture. _Hilarious_). He gave her a rather terrified look, which only made the dearly beloved couple exude even more serenity. How she loved this - Eurus Holmes, soon to be Eurus Holmes Moriarty, took great pleasure in the way her intended James wielded power. So unlike her brother, or any other heads of state, really. And so little gave her pleasure. At least, until she met James.

James smirked at her as the holy man cleared his throat - to be honest she hadn't really been listening. She already knew how this would all play out, and was looking forward to the havoc they would together wreak.

"Speak now, or forever hold your peace," the hostage officiant says with some chagrin. He looks around expectantly. Poor man.

For a moment, the chapel is as quiet as it had been throughout the ceremony. But then all at once, two bodies rose to their feet, and Eurus's lips curled into a smile even before their words rang out.

"Eurus!" a woman cries in disbelief, the same time a man on the other side of the room shouts "Moriarty!" with some dismay.

"I thought we had something special!" they continued in unison, before looking at each other in shock. A moment later, the chapel practically burst into _cacophony_.

She turned to face her very own brother, Sherlock, who by then was too busy staring across the room at the elegant woman whose visage was until then hidden under a large, wide-brimmed hat and oversized sunglasses. Well, the glasses were off now, and he would recognize The Woman anywhere.

Eurus raised an eyebrow at her James, who had gone through the trouble of looking shocked and offended.

"I have never once flirted with dear Sherlock in my life!" James professed. "Cross my heart and hope to die."

"Yes, and I've never taken a trip to the South of France with a dominatrix," Eurus replied with a beatific smile.

At this point, James looked positively soppy. Just besotted. He started to lean in to kiss her, only to be interrupted by the throwing open of doors and the sound of a chopper.

He laughed, clearly taking some delight in the chaos, and it was Eurus's turn to look very fond at her new (nearly!) husband.

"Stop right there," a terrible voice came over the sound of the helicopter, over some sort of loudspeaker. "Eurus Holmes, you will get back to your room at once, young lady!"

Ah yes. Her _other_ brother. He who they shall never speak of, fortune willing. 

Eurus sighed. While she enjoyed his love of theatrics in theory, every interaction with him was a reminder of why she so often opted to ignore him.

Mycroft was such a tedious creature. No fun at all. The worst. Case in point - here he was, ruining her wedding day!

"If I were anyone else, I'd be miffed my own brother upstaged my wedding," she quipped loud enough for just James to hear, as Mycroft practically strolled into the chapel on the red carpet that had been rolled out for him. "Oh look, now he's going to lecture you for jeopardizing my virtue."

James snorted, and Mycroft continued on as if exactly to prove her point.

"Moriarty! You will unhand my sister immediately," Mycroft started, only to be cut off as another exclamation came from beside her other brother - a terrible gasp, then,

"That's my cat!"

Eurus looked down. She had indeed decided to forego the traditional bouquet for a furry creature - they were fashionable, if the internet was anything to go by.

Molly shot Sherlock a worried look, and Eurus stroked the kitty's head. He'd had plenty of catnip, and seemed to be enjoying the attention.

Eurus turned back to the pope, having had enough of people for the day and ready to be married only for one last protest to rise up from the back of the audience.

"You're not just going to let them go _through_ with this?"

Ah yes, John Watson, always late to the show. Eurus's least favorite of all Sherlock's friends. She had no idea why he was appealing to Mycroft, as if _he_ could ever make her do _anything_. She was about to do something just _drastic_, when the pope stilled, realizing that the open doors of the chapel have put him right in the crosshairs - a red dot had appeared over his heart.

"Best get on with it," James said sweetly. Oh, he really did know the way to a girl's heart! And the pope's, Eurus supposed.

The pope gulped.

"I now pronounce you - man and wife!"


End file.
